"That's simply my character" - Why this statement is only partially true

I would like to say one thing in advance. Of course, there are characteristics and traits that determine you, which are not changeable. For these character traits there are already countless tests that can be done online. These tests all aim to show the superficial personality traits and thereby get more understanding and clarity about his own existence.

Basically, these tests always distinguish between 4-6 types. There are basically dominant people, innovative, detail lovers and people lovers. These different types are of course always present as hybrids. So if someone is a very dominant type who also works in detail, it is unlikely that he will ever be perceived as a total people-pleaser. If, on the other hand, someone is a totally innovative and people-loving type, then it is just as unlikely that he will build a functional rocket. It is simply not in his character to be concerned with the detail with such intensity.

However, what is forgotten in many of these statements is that all character traits exist in flux or blocked, and in society, unfortunately, only those people stand out who have their character partially or completely blocked. So the dominant person, who oppresses others by his shouting and outbursts of rage or the tedious accountant, who because of his blockade gets on the nerves of all other departments by his inflexibility or also the too social person, who is no longer able to see when it would be time to set a clear limit to someone. 

"I'm simply like that" - is this true or not? 

It is half true. Your character trait cannot be changed. That would not be smart either. There are good reasons why you are the way you are. Your character has a lot to do with what you can accomplish in this life. However, you can change something if it is blocked.

And how can you tell if your character is blocked or not? A very good indication that something is still not quite in flow is when you keep coming up against the same problems in interpersonal relationships. Do the people around you keep telling you the same thing? Do they keep complaining that you're too direct, too nice, too sassy, too...? you see where I'm going with this.

If this is the case, it's a good idea to identify the pattern underneath this behavior. Therapists and coaches can help you with this, of course, because it's not quite as trivial as it sounds. It takes some practice and self-reflection, the ability to analyze and inner distance to one's own existence, to recognize a consistent pattern in all the different relationship problems and then to have the courage to feel into why the same scenario plays itself over and over again in different ways. Why you keep playing the same role over and over again.

What I can say clearly, however, is that this work is absolutely worth it. It makes your everyday life and your quality of life to a large extent better, much more pleasant and easier. And that relationships, be it with your work, your loved ones or other things is the only thing to experience as a human being, an improvement of your own feeling is worth it all because.